Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
