doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
