No awkward lesbian experiences without me
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
