What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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