we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
