i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
