sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
