have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
