I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
