After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
i think im in europe. pls send help
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize