NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
