last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
