I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
