i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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