we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
