We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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