I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
How external is "for external use only"?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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