Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
