Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Randomize
