Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
