I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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