been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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