I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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