He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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