you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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