just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
