Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
