Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
