Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
