using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
