its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
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