I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize