I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
