I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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