so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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