So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You're like the curious george of whores
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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