you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
this is an emotional support booty call
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
