this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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