Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
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