i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
