3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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