@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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