What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize