Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
