I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
