Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
