Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
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