yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
