He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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