the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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