I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
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