We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
