i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
