didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Jerry, you need to find god
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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