My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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