I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
