dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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