if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
