you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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