Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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