Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize