If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
