You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
