I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
