if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
