My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
