She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We have so much sex to catch up on
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
