I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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