if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
