You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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